please could you proof read this?
Question by : please could you proof read this?
I am writing a speech on why american influence is regertabble. could you point out any mistakes/give me an idea on how to finish it? thanks :O))
Good morning/afternoon ladies and (gentlemen). I am speaking for the notion ‘American influence in society is regrettable’.
American influence in British society is huge. If you wear jeans, watch CNN, eat in McDonalds or say ‘Hey’ then you are, in some people’s opinion, dealing with the enemy. American influence has spread across the globe, and manifested itself in countless ways. We all know about Americans, we’ve all criticised them, praised them and impersonated their silly accent. But how much have they affected us? Well, lets take the example of McDonalds, the well known and well criticised, fast food chain. In the UK alone there are 1,154 McDonalds, and the golden arches can even be found-and I think you’ll agree this is shocking- in Auschwitz and in Scott’s Base, in Antarctica. It has also affected language; McDonalds is recognised as a word in the dictionary, and one of the phrases taught in a year 8 French text book translates to ‘I like to eat in McDonalds’. Eating sugary, salty hamburgers under bright lights in its colourful diners has become an essential part of British youth culture. But this key player in the soar of world wide obesity rates is a 100% American invention. And there are many, many more examples as such.
So why is the influence so huge? Well, a bit of geography first. America, as you are probably aware, is very big. In fact it is over 30 times bigger than England. It’s size and location means it I relatively insulated. Americans can easily spend their whole lives without leaving, because it is such a big, varied place they can travel far and wide, but still be in America. This means that America has, over the centuries, developed it’s own culture, linguistic variations, fashions and cuisines. It’s fair to say that American inventors, chefs, film producers, writers and designers generally design, cook, make films and write for an American audience. But, of course, these ideas and creations haven’t stayed in America. Through countless ways, especially the media, they have spread to England, and become part of our culture.
Historically, Americans influence has led to some terrible events. The slave trade is a sad example of an American idea that spread to England. Hundreds of thousands of humans were taken from their homes then shipped around the world in appalling conditions, to wherever a life of misery, hard labour or abuse awaited them. This American idea-using black people who were apparently lesser as abused and unpaid workers-led untold misery for the many people who suffered from it. The slave trade also led to another huge topic; racism. Racism is a hot topic. Even in these ‘civilized’ times most ethnic minorities face some form of racism, ranging from minor acts of discrimination to serious abuse. Aside from slavery America has long been a racist nation. The apartheid is the perfect example. Ethnic minorities were treated horrifically; as worthless, second class citizens who could be abused, deprived or killed at will. Many of the rules enforced seem ludicrous today; why should someone’s skin affect which drinking fountain they use? This ridiculous concept caused untold misery for several generations. In fact, America may have been intended to be a country of equality and peace, but it has anything but. The terrible case of William Brown only highlights this.
In 1919 William Brown was accused as assaulting a white woman. He was held in protective custody at a courthouse. However rumours spread, and soon a mob of over 4000 white people surrounded the building, demanding he be given up. The mayor agreed that if the mob would leave they could hang him. The mob seized Brown and hung him from a powerline, then shot at him for five minutes. They cut him down. They tied him to a car wheel. They dragged him through the town. They doused him in petrol. And they photographed him burning, before dragging him through the streets again. The supposedly assault victim later retracted her claim. She said she’d just wanted to see a black man die. And where did this happen? In the nation supposedly ‘conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.’ Throughout history America has not been a nation of liberty and freedom. It has been a nation were old women were hanged as witches, children were separated from their parents and worked to death on sugar plantations, where land was snatched from people who had nothing else, leaving them to starve to death, where medals were awarded for meaningless slaughter, where brothers fought against each other in civil war and a place some of the greatest men to ever live were shot for their messages of peace and liberation. Now who amongst you could look me in the eye and say it was worth all of that for hamburgers?
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Overall your writing is pretty good. But Americans, although very infamous for their slavery practices (mostly due to media really, as it occurred in equally horrifying frequencies in most western nations) did not actually start the slave trade. Slavery is thousands of years old, but the transatlantic trade you’re referring to was initiated by the Portuguese and later joined by the Spanish.
Also I think it would be worthy commenting on recent events and how America, with all of it’s glorious power has facilitated the murder of thousands, if not millions of people in the Middle East. I understand the whole concept of ‘war on terror’, but I don’t see how killing innocent people, by trying to stop people that want to killing innocent people, solves the problem. It’s the equivalent of a prisoner escaping in New York and then the police department just randomly blowing up buildings and killing people, in an attempt to capture the said prisoner. Well not entirely, but same general idea.
They have also involved a number of other nations into this battle, including Britain. As an Australian I seriously don’t agree with Americas war policy, but as an allied force our soldiers are sent to fight for Americas cause. Sure they say it’s for everyone’s benefit in the fight against terror, but as far as I know we have never had a serious terrorism threat, let alone an attack in Australia, from the people that supposedly want to destroy us.
I think also mentioning that America’s emission statistics and their impact on the environment might be a good idea. I doubt there’s a country in the world that is damaging the environment more than America, when looking at it from a damage to percentage of worlds population perspective.
You should sum it up by acknowledging that as much of the modern world sighs over the ‘American dream’ and although the American people have made valuable contributions to the world at large, they are not without fault and have made many regrettable contributions as well. Or something like that, just a general statement summarising your overall point. Use strong words though, you want that last bit to really stick with them.
That’s just my opinion anyway
. Good luck on your speech.